he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
