Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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