What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
