I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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