that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i believe in u and ur pee
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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