I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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