So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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