I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
