It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
