I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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