i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
