Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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