fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
