i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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