Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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