glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize