fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
