oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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