I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
