I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
home. puking in laundry basket.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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