Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
