so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
This is classic penis vs brain.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
