Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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