So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
