Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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