So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
