we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
