So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
