I want to stick my p in your. b.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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