I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
