Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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