I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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