Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
