The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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