I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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