I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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