If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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