So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
