OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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