She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
