why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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