He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
