Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
