She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
did you just send me my own nude
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
