I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
