'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
