Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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