i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
