i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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