i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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