I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize