Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Your penis caused this!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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