I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is Oprah even human
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
