my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
