how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
