I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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