the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Vodka?
Forever.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
