Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
