fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
