Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
