You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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