i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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