As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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