and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
