We won't sleep together?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
