Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
